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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:20 pm 
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Site Mod

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 11:12 am
Posts: 873
Location: Nottingham
Purely accidental :63:


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 9:48 pm 
Cromo Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:09 pm
Posts: 2094
Location: portadown, northern ireland
oh aye ;)


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:04 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 9:29 pm
Posts: 1510
Location: LEEDS
redred wrote:
I was at the swimming pool the other day and needed a wee, I thought, I know i'll go in the pool.
Imagine my suprise when the lifeguard shouted at me..
I nearly fell in!

This so reminded me of an incident when i was a kid.(June 1973 at 2years and 3 months old)
We were at pontins and i was busting for a wee. I said to my mum, "mum im busting for a wee"
The toilets were absolutely miles away so she said just do it in the pool.
It obviously never occured to my young mind that anyone would be so sly. So been the honest, innocent minded,straight up little chap that i was back then i did exactly as my mum had told me.
(those innocent days are gone and i have learnt the art of slyness in certain situations now)
Been a story my mum still loves to tell even to this day......made easier by the fact she actually got the deed on film :oops:
She was so embarrassed at the time.

Image


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 12:57 pm 
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Super Tuff Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:57 am
Posts: 773
:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:42 pm 
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Super Tuff Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:57 am
Posts: 773
Got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
Not her main present, it's just a stocking filler.


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:43 pm 
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Super Tuff Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:57 am
Posts: 773
I called the RSPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."

"That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase.


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:44 pm 
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Super Tuff Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:57 am
Posts: 773
I had a dream that I weighed a thousandth of a gram.
I was all like "0mg!"


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:44 pm 
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Super Tuff Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:57 am
Posts: 773
Why don't sharks eat clowns?
Because they taste funny...


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:45 pm 
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Super Tuff Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:57 am
Posts: 773
What's the first sign of madness?
Suggs coming up the driveway


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 Post subject: Re: ban me
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:45 pm 
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Super Tuff Burner

Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:57 am
Posts: 773
A man goes into a dentists and says "Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a moth!"
The dentist goes, "this is the dentist, not a doctors, why did you come in here?"
"Well, your light was on."


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